-Written by Brynn Taylor
So don't ask me why I would ever Google being single on Valentine's Day, but I will tell you for those who don't already know, it's NOT FUN.
I planned on spending Valentine's Day this year exactly how I would spend most other days as a single woman. Getting dinner with friends, going home and lighting some candles, doing a hair mask, watching Netflix and going to bed.
And if you look up any single girls' guide to surviving v-day that's about four out of five tips right there! I guess I'm just a natural born single survivalist.
But guess what I'll be doing the day after Valentine's Day? Probably the same thing. And for some reason, because today is Valentine's Day I have to feel SUPER WEIRD about it.
This is actually a Valentine's Day I'm the utmost excited for. Not having to do anything I don't want to do, while knowing my friends are happy, my family is healthy, and tomorrow I'll wake up the same person I went to bed as is as good a day for me as any.
Yet every Valentine's Day I've ever experienced prior to today has had one major thing in common. And no, it wasn't roses, chocolates, or romantic cards.
It was copious amounts of superficial bullshit.
So you want to know why I'm super pumped about going to bed alone tonight? Because nobody gave me flowers and pretended it was all I needed to be happy today.
Because I made my own happiness today, and told myself I love me just like I do every other day. And to be honest, I think it had more meaning when I said it than all my last three boyfriends combined.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those Valentine's Day cynics. In fact, I love love and think it should be celebrated more often. I've never been happier for my friends who are in relationships and hope their Valentine's Days are the shit because their relationships deserve all the TLC that they put into them.
But give YOURSELF tender love and care, if that's where you need it the most. Make your Valentine's Day about LOVE again, and not super depressing bullshit brought on by unnecessary societal pressures; boyfriend or no boyfriend.
I've had a lot of wonderful Valentine's Days that I shared with someone who I loved, and loved me. I've also spent Valentine's Day as a single lady, and went out and had some drinks with my closest girl friends.
I've always kept a smile on Valentine's Day and tried to treat it just as I treated any other day, but you know what? NOBODY CAN DO THAT. Everyone has to deal with the elephant in the room of being alone on a day that celebrates couples, or not getting enough praise from a significant other.
And you know why? Because Valentine's Day has become such an important day in the bragging rights of unhappy men and women everywhere, that even the happiest of the unhappy can't share about their day if they're spending it alone. And that's why when you look up being single on Valentine's Day, everything says "how to survive" as if you are going to suffocate from the judging glances of recently engaged women and the pity of coworkers asking if you have any "special" plans.
So thanks Hallmark, for the unnecessary amount of pressure, but I plan on telling the world exactly what my plans are because I'm not embarrassed by them. Except you coworker Rhonda. I'll just tell you it's none of your damn business considering you don't care what I do the other 364 days of the year.
Or maybe, if she really wants to pity me, I'll tell her how I'll never forget my first and last Valentine's Day with one of my ex-boyfriends. He was one of many past significant others who I was excited to spend Valentine's Day with, and planned something wonderful and romantic for the two of us. He slaved in the kitchen for hours for a meal that naturally could've fed an entire army.
I'll tell her how it was absolutely delicious, but say, "You know what I remember besides the food and exchanging of gifts? I remember it seriously failing in comparison to other amazing days we spent together. Days where we just sat, and talked and enjoyed each other's company. I remember fighting because there was so much pressure on everything to be absolutely perfect."
But enjoy instagramming your diamond bracelet, Rhonda! I'm sure you just love life!
And yes, I got upset that Valentine's Day, despite the wonderful gesture from my ex. It was his first Valentine's Day with a girlfriend and I'm sure he had some expectations, as have I on this stupid, made-up holiday.
But I, on the other hand, had a few over hyped V-days too many, and was just about ready to sit on the couch, drink wine, and enjoy each other's company.
And ya know what? I'm okay with doing that EVERYDAY.
Don't get me wrong. I'm okay with a guy making me a nice dinner, I mean heck yeah; I'm all about that. But don't do if you don't want to. It can wait until after Valentine's Day, or literally any other day.
I think that special plans should be celebratory of the simple things in life, because that is truly underrated. It doesn't have to be awkward, and it doesn't have to be expected.
Isn't that what love is? Not feeling pressure from each other to be something you're not?Loving each other no matter how you feel on one given day? Doing what makes both people happy in the long term, not just the short term?
So yeah, if your gf wants to be catered to and pampered, then by all means, make a tradition of it! But make it loving and sincere, and don't do it to try to one up every one else's cliche Valentine's Day plans.
Go tell all the Rhondas in your life to pipe down and eat their box of chocolates, because Valentine's Day is not meant to make anyone feel lonely or depressed. It's a celebration of love, and I, for one, can't wait to celebrate all the love that has come into my life as a result of releasing negativity and unwanted pressure, and I will be doing so in my pjs... watching The Office.