Next Stop, Dick Street!
-Written by Paul Gogliormella
Thats right gang, residents of Clifton, New Jersey are freaking out over a street in their town potentially being renamed to Dick Street.
But the thing is, Dick Street already exists in Clifton. City officials just want to make Dick Street longer (heh heh).
There's a road in Clifton called Ellsworth Street which turns into Dick Street without warning. No turns no nothing. Pretty confusing right? You're driving down Ellsworth Street minding your own business, then BAM you're cruising on Dick Street and you didn't even know.
So what officials want is to just make Ellsworth apart of Dick Street to get rid of this confusion. However, the people who live on Ellsworth Street are NOT happy about this.
“People laugh when they think of Dick Street,” resident Kenneth Roman told WNBC-TV. “They can name it anything they want, except for Dick Street.”
You're damn right people laugh Kenneth, get used to it!
Another resident Anil Ranas told WNBC, “I don’t want to screw up my life.”
If living on Dick Street screws up your life, you never had a chance Anil.
I couldn't be less on board with my boys Anil and Kenneth. I can't think of anything better than to live on Dick Street. Think of all the jokes! It's an instant ice breaker. Plus think of all the doors it'll open! Next we'll get Vagina Avenue, Boobie Boulevard, Balls Court, the possibilities are endless.
So Clifton officials, if you're reading this, just know you got at least one person on board. Dick Street here we come!