Juice is now selling at crack prices.
Written by Paul
The other day I was eating breakfast with a pal of mine, and he ordered a glass of orange juice. A perfectly reasonable request. The waitress says, "Of course, and for you," she says as she switches her gaze to me.
I order a water. Total pro move. I know the deal with juice. First off there is never free refills with juice which is a tragedy, because the juice they provide is never enough. If you order a small juice, they essentially give it to you in a shot glass (not an exaggeration), and if you order a large it's enough for five maybe six good sips, and you KNOW how thirsty I get after attacking some breakfast burritos.
In any event, I ordered lunch not breakfast, so juice wasn't an option anyway, but I digress.
The waitress comes back with the drinks and the juice came in a mason jar. "How quaint," I thought. It was a bit more than I thought, but still not enough for a full grown man. PLUS I think it had ice in it, which is a huge red flag. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but you don't put ice in juice, you find a way to make it cold without adding ice cubes in it.
We finish the lunch and we get the check. Guess how much this fuckin' juice was?
Now listen, I'm aware five dollars is not the end of the world. You're not going to go broke from spending five dollars on a glass of juice every now and then.
BUT YOU CAN BUY LIKE, A WHOLE CARTON OF ORANGE JUICE FOR FIVE DOLLARS. WHAT DID THEY PUT IN THIS SPECIFIC GLASS OF ORANGE JUICE TO WARRANT SUCH A PRICE.
I want answers, and until then I'm going to be #TeamNoOrange.
Tropicana, I'll be awaiting your call.