These Are Real People Who ACTUALLY Think This Way.
-Written by Paul Gogliormella
Now, I realize that the New York Post is liquid garbage. However, this one piece is so stupid that it's funny. I implore you to read the whole thing.
It's called "Why I Won't Date Hot Women Anymore."
Already off to a booming start with the title. Even better when you see what the guy, Dan Rochkind, looks like.
Now I'm no Brad Pitt, but this guy does not seem like the type that is exactly beating ladies off him with a stick. He's not dating hot women anymore, but was he ever dating hot women? Was dating hot women ever an option? I should come out with an article saying I'm not going to sail my 200 foot yacht anymore.
The article says, “I could have [anyone] I wanted,” says Rochkind, now 40 and an Upper West Sider with a muscular build and a full head of hair. “I met some nice people, but realistically I went for the hottest girl you could find.”
First off, they're a little liberal with the "muscular build" attribution here. Sure he seems like he's in normal shape, but muscular build? Who are you trying to fool here. Also, when did "full head of hair" qualify you to date the hottest women in New York? By the New York Post's standards I should be the most eligible bachelor in New York City.
He goes on to say that beautiful people are too full of themselves, selfish, and vapid. That's a bit like the pot calling the kettle black don't you think Danny? You mean selfish and vapid enough to be the basis of an article called "Why I Won't Date Hot Women Anymore?"
Then there's a picture of him and his fiancee posing, and the caption is incredible.
Lmao yo how did he get his fiancee to agree to this picture? This whole time he's talking about how he doesn't want to date hot women anymore and he's been settling. Also love the phrasing in the caption, "engaged to a merely beautiful woman."
The article then says, “[She] is a softer beauty, someone you can take home and cuddle with, and she’s very elegant,” Rochkind says. “And she’s 5-foot-2, so she can’t be a runway model, but I think she’s really beautiful and is prettier than anyone I’ve dated.”
This Dan Rochkind guy has to be fucking with us right? There's no way real people talk like that.
They also interview a woman named Sonali Chitre who feels the same way as our friend Dan.
The article states "Chitre, an environmental lawyer and the founder of Priyamvada Sustainability Consulting, considers herself “a 9 or a 10,” but she says she’s done with gorgeous guys. Now, she’s more interested in “superballer” men with high-paying careers."
Yo who do these people think they are? I just can't believe all of them are talking about how self-centered other people are, yet refer to themselves as 9s and 10s and will only date "superballers."
But wait, there's more. Another tale of someone swearing off of hot people.
"Megan Young, a 23-year-old p.r. woman from Hoboken, NJ, also changed her dating habits. The svelte, blue-eyed brunette used to exclusively date 6-foot-tall dudes who looked like Calvin Klein models.
“As a person who’s always been complimented on [my] ‘stunning beauty’ … I’d been searching for a ‘hot’ guy to match the label I had always been given,” says Young. “But after a date or two, they’ll have problems hanging out with you and then will ghost."
As a person who's always been complimented on knowing when someone is full of shit, I just want to say, SPARE ME. Ugh, makes my skin crawl just reading that quote. WHO TALKS ABOUT THEMSELVES LIKE THIS?!?!
AND to be completely honest, all these people, are like, pretty good looking, but they ARE NOT THAT good looking. They're good-looking enough to be considered good-looking, but not good-looking enough to turn around take another look.
Except for my guy Dan Rochkind, he's just not good-looking at all.