The Seattle Mariners Call In Emergency Order of Toasted Grasshoppers

This is disgusting and repulsive and I will NOT stand for this.

-Written by Alec Baicher

Every Major League Ballpark adds new items to their menu. Fans get excited, and so do the teams. New food equals more money in the pockets of the baseball team. As a Mets fan who takes between 5-7 trips to Citi Field per year, the food is on the top of my list of reasons to go to the game.

The Seattle Mariners took it to a new level at Safeco Field. They added TOASTED GRASSHOPPERS, an appetizer from the Mexican chain restaurant "Poquitos" to their menu. The correct term for these grasshoppers is "Chapulines" but I have a better name for these. It's called TRASH.

I'm sorry, there is no way you can get me to eat these things. My taste buds LOVE exotic and weird types of food, but this is where I draw the line. I'm not eating a God damn insect that was fried and had salt thrown on it to taste good.

Hey Seattle, you couldn't have got something more normal like chips and guac from this place? The fuck is this shit.

The past year has been a year of protests so I'm starting my own. I'm starting the #NoMoreChapulines protest. If you consume these or think they may taste good, never talk to me again and take about 7 laps and think about what you just said.

Disgusting Seattle, you're better than that.

P.S. 18,000 Grasshoppers have been sold so far in 3 games on the Mariners homestand and they need to order MORE. I'm repulsed.